Dreams

At night my mind replays to me,

My need for love and affection,

Such that I dreamt of a situation,

Whereby, I had come to others’ attention.

They seemed to respond well to my presence,

And to their ranks I was invited,

But my cowardice showed,

So I ran away, and left them unrequited.

Why would I run away?

I felt too embarrassing, too unworthy to stay.

They offered me what I was looking for,

 – A sense of belonging.

But when I got what I wanted, I realised,

I’m not ready for the prize,

But only for its longing.

 

 

 

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Loneliness II

Loneliness is not just the state of being on your own,

Oh no, it’s far more complicated than that.

It’s the feeling of being left behind,

Of being the least worthy of your kind,

And the feelings of inferiority that run through your mind.

Loneliness is a paradox,

It’s about feeling conspicuous and invisible,

And about feeling relieved and miserable.

Loneliness can empty the void or fill the abyss,

It can leave us content or amiss.

Loneliness is an irony,

It’s about yearning to belong,

And about yearning to run away.

It’s wanting to be left alone,

And hoping they’ll stay.

Loneliness is desperation,

It’s when you start to obsess,

It’s always wanting more,

And never being happy with less.

Loneliness is the shadow that lurks,

Even when there’s people around.

It’s the gloom, the shade that covers the ground.

Loneliness is the want of being found.

It’s pretending you’re not in love,

Even when your sweetheart is around.

It’s shying away,

It’s never looking them in the eye,

It’s the reason for hiding, and not coming out to play,

And feeling restless throughout the day.

Its feeling like you can’t do anything right,

And it’s what keeps you awake at night.

Loneliness is so much more than a situation,

It’s the state of our mind, our fears, our aspirations.

Slain

What good do I gain,

Hoping you’ll feel my pain?

Since you cannot feel what I’ve felt,

And know what affliction I have slain.

You only see a man with much pain on his face,

You only see a man whose dreams are laid to waste.

Perfectly Flawed

When it comes to success, I’m not the rule but the exception,

But you, are of high praise and sophistication,

So how can you, loving me, be my expectation?

How can you love someone so wrought by imperfection?

 

 

 

Alone, together

Lonely people,

Waiting for that alert.

That ring, that beep, 

Some notice,

Some signal,

Any sign,

That the world,

Still remembers we’re alive.

Lonely people,

Waiting at the door.

Hoping for approval,

Before going in to explore.

Lonely people,

Sitting on our own.

Choosing empty spots,

Empty places,

Reflecting what we feel inside.

Lonely people,

Trying our best to hide.

Always in plain sight,

But never found.

Lonely people,

Always last in line.

Hoping for that opening,

That final spot,

In’ team humanity’.

Love?

If love is to long for you, then I have loved.

But if love is to have you, then never have I loved.

If love is to admire you, then I have loved.

But if love is to know you, then never have I loved.

If love is to hope for you, then I have loved.

But if love is to hold you, then never have I loved.

If love is to dream of you, then I have loved.

But if love is to be with you, then never have I loved.

Loneliness

Loneliness is the feeling that you don’t matter,

The sense that those around you are better,

The fear that if you join them, they’ll scatter,

And the paranoia, that about you, they always chatter.