As I rested my head on my pillow,
My head was filled with hopes of a better tomorrow,
But as I woke, I only felt a recurring sorrow,
A lurking gloom, leaving me feeling hollow.
A lasting regret, a bitter pill to swallow,
To know that I can be described as yellow,
A fretful being, never known to be mellow,
And to live with the stigma of being an odd fellow.
At night my mind replays to me,
My need for love and affection,
Such that I dreamt of a situation,
Whereby, I had come to others’ attention.
They seemed to respond well to my presence,
And to their ranks I was invited,
But my cowardice showed,
So I ran away, and left them unrequited.
Why would I run away?
I felt too embarrassing, too unworthy to stay.
They offered me what I was looking for,
– A sense of belonging.
But when I got what I wanted, I realised,
I’m not ready for the prize,
But only for its longing.