Dreams

At night my mind replays to me,

My need for love and affection,

Such that I dreamt of a situation,

Whereby, I had come to others’ attention.

They seemed to respond well to my presence,

And to their ranks I was invited,

But my cowardice showed,

So I ran away, and left them unrequited.

Why would I run away?

I felt too embarrassing, too unworthy to stay.

They offered me what I was looking for,

 – A sense of belonging.

But when I got what I wanted, I realised,

I’m not ready for the prize,

But only for its longing.

 

 

 

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Blot

Might she be able to love me,

If I obtain perfection?

For surely I am unworthy,

To even the most lenient of perception.

Why would anyone settle for less?

Why would anyone settle for the mess,

That I am?

Can I ever be admired,

For where I am?

Can I ever be loved,

For what I am?

For even my yearning,

Doesn’t make up,

For what I’m not.

And it cannot replace,

What I haven’t got.

And it doesn’t avail,

The blot – that is me.

 

 

Yearning

I’m in need,

Of a little love,

A little attention.

I could really use,

Some comfort,

Some affection.

But I understand,

That few are attracted,

To those,

With many limitations.

When it comes to love,

The destitute rarely receive,

Any satisfaction.

Taken in

Where do I begin?

Perhaps, I’ll start with the dream that took me in,

And then perhaps I’ll take it on the chin,

That when reality did set in,

My pride did wear thin.

 

Although being infatuated,

Is no reason to be castigated.

I can’t but feel humiliated,

For being so fascinated.

 

I wish I could say,

That I was never sucked in this way;

That my dignity was always on display,

And that I, on the better side of obsession, did stay.

 

My head has always pleaded for common sense,

Although my heart was hypnotized by your presence.

But I can’t keep making a fool of myself, hence –

To stop dreaming, is of utmost importance.

 

Now, I finally hope to start anew,

And to finally resist thinking of you.

Here’s to hopefully, bidding you ‘Adieu’.

― From the admirer, you never knew.

 

                                                                                                      

 

 

 

Explore

Now, of you, I know more,

But will it change the way I felt before?

Do our trials now give me a chance, a hope?

Since I know that you too, struggle to cope.

Now that I’ve read a map of your head,

Should I choose caution instead?

You yearn for someone to reach out and take your hand,

But can I ever be that man?

Can you trust me now that I know more?

Since I, in secret, your head did explore.

Who can love me?

Who can love me as I am?

Who can love this pale imitation of a man?

Who out there is willing to say:

“As you are, please stay.”?

Who is blind enough to take on the task,

Of rebuilding the shattered pieces of glass,

That once formed the mirror of my content,

But now is just the source of my constant lament?

Who is she, so fair, that would give me a chance?

Where is she, the one, that can my worthiness enhance?

 

Unused

There are words I can never say,

Since you’ve faded away from me,

They will ever remain unused,

Though they can be, my only gift to thee.

Each night I dream alone,

I toss and turn, restless in this empty home,

Although I don’t want it to be this way,

I cannot change things, until I find the courage to say –

The words which will forever on you be unused,

The words meant for a lover, but limited to the muse.